Discover three powerful perspective shifts on death, dying, and the afterlife that transformed my fear of mortality into deeper gratitude for life.

Introduction

Death. The word alone can bring up fear, avoidance, or discomfort. For years, I had not realized how much I carried those feelings until I sat down with three incredible guests on The Hanged Woman Podcast to explore our Death, Dying, and the Afterlife theme.

I spoke with Kim Stravers, Rachel Erin Bossio, and Joél the Grave Woman, and the insights I walked away with completely changed how I see death… and how I live.

Perspective Shift #1: Planning for Death Is Planning for Life

“So, treating death more like, if not a friend an expected visitor, rather than this event to run from or this nefarious villain who’s out to get you, I would love to see people be more welcoming or at least open to the idea that this is going to happen, so why not befriend it if you can.” - Kim Stravers, Death Midwife

Most of us avoid end-of-life conversations because they feel scary, but Kim Stravers reframed them as acts of love.

By creating a will, making informed care decisions, and communicating openly with our families, we actually free ourselves and our loved ones to live more fully in the present. Inspired by Kim, I began to assemble my own will, and instead of fear, I found peace.

“So, treating death more like, if not a friend an expected visitor, rather than this event to run from or this nefarious villain who’s out to get you, I would love to see people be more welcoming or at least open to the idea that this is going to happen, so why not befriend it if you can.” - Kim Stravers, Death Midwife

Perspective Shift #2: Honoring the Dead Means Caring for the Living

“A lot of times we tend to look at death as a distant friend or a distant relative, but death is always a constant companion. Death walks beside us throughout our entirety from the time we’re conceived until the time that we experience this succession of life, and by that, literally right now, you and I are in the dying process. Our cells are dying, our bodies are getting older, we are slowing down in time and space if we’re looking at that metaphysically.” Joél Maldonado “The Grave Woman”, Mortician

Death educator Joél the Grave Woman opened my eyes to the sacred work morticians do and how deeply they honor the bodies in their care.

One thing she shared was the unique needs around Black death care. I hadn’t realized how critical it is for professionals to receive training on caring for Black bodies, but once Joél explained it, it made perfect sense. Her work creates dignity in death and healing for the living.

“A lot of times we tend to look at death as a distant friend or a distant relative, but death is always a constant companion. Death walks beside us throughout our entirety from the time we’re conceived until the time that we experience this succession of life, and by that, literally right now, you and I are in the dying process. Our cells are dying, our bodies are getting older, we are slowing down in time and space if we’re looking at that metaphysically.” Joél Maldonado “The Grave Woman”, Mortician

Perspective Shift #3: Death Is Transformation, Not Erasure

“You don’t have to worry about my pain; it was made into love. That pain, it isn’t with me anymore. And the only people that carry it for me are you guys on earth. But I don’t want you to carry it. I want you to carry the love.” Rachel Erin Bosio, Medium

Medium and healer Rachel Erin Bossio reminded me that energy doesn’t disappear; it transforms.

Rachel guided me through a mediumship session where my sister Jamila and my friend Maxie came through with clarity and love. Experiencing their presence reminded me that death isn’t an ending, it’s a shift in form. Knowing they’re together and at peace made me less afraid of my own transition someday.

“You don’t have to worry about my pain; it was made into love. That pain, it isn’t with me anymore. And the only people that carry it for me are you guys on earth. But I don’t want you to carry it. I want you to carry the love.” Rachel Erin Bosio, Medium

Integrating the Shifts

These conversations didn’t erase my fear of death, but they transformed it. I no longer see death as the enemy. I see it as a mirror reminding me to live more fully, more presently, and with more tenderness.

Death isn’t the end. It’s a doorway to someplace new.

One of my favorite pics of me and my sisters:

From Left: Jasmine, Julienne, Jamila, and Jeannine

Listen to the Full Conversation

These perspective shifts are just the beginning. You can listen to the entire Death, Dying, and the Afterlife arc on The Hanged Woman Podcast and explore the insights directly from my guests.

Facing the Unknown: How conversations about death, dying, and the afterlife changed my life